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We all know that finding the perfect gift for everyone on our holiday shopping list can be a daunting task. But have you ever wondered what would happen if you intentionally gave the most hilariously terrible gifts instead? Look no further, because we’ve compiled a list of the 12 Days of Christmas Gifts you wouldn’t want to give – and the unfathomable consequences of bestowing them upon your loved ones.
ONE Retro 1980s Fruitcake
Consequence: Your aunt, who prides herself on her culinary skills, insists on taking a bite and spends the rest of the evening reminiscing about the good old days of lead paint and asbestos. Score one for nostalgia!
Hmm… Maybe delight Auntie with a charming DIY macrame plant hanger instead? She can still reminisce about the 80s during the 12 Days of Christmas Gifts — but without the risk of a lead paint flashback?
TWO Eccentric Mismatched Socks with Holes
Consequence: Your cousin, who just landed their dream job at a prestigious law firm, decides to wear them on their first day of work. They quickly become known as the “quirky” attorney with a penchant for mismatched footwear – and drafty toes.
Don’t do it! Get your cousin a pair of lawyer-themed socks instead. Because nothing screams ‘legal eagle’ like feet adorned with tiny gavels and scales of justice! Especially during 12 Days of Christmas Gifts.
THREE cans of Expired Mystery Meat
Consequence: Your brother-in-law, always the adventurous eater, cracks one open and declares it “vintage.” He spends the rest of the holiday season giving everyone updates on his intestinal fortitude.
Sure, you could cause food poisoning for the 12 Days of Christmas Gifts. OR… you could offer your brother-in-law a mystery novel. It’s sure to keep his dinner down while he’s on the edge of his seat!
FOUR Slightly Used Toothbrushes
Consequence: Your niece, a budding environmental activist, proudly adopts them for her bathroom cleaning arsenal. She then gifts you a homemade toothpaste concoction featuring organic kale and activated charcoal.
There are alternatives! Give your niece a NEW bamboo toothbrush set to satisfy her eco-friendly heart, without the second-hand dental hygiene concern. And make this a 12 Days of Christmas Gifts to remember!
FIVE Fractured Fidget Spinners
Consequence: Your nephew, an aspiring engineer, spends the entire family gathering attempting to “fix” them. By the end of the night, he’s created a Frankenstein’s monster of a spinner that not only spins but also emits a high-pitched screech when in motion.
Come on, it’s the 12 Days of Christmas Gifts… Encourage your nephew’s engineering skills with a build-your-own-robot kit instead – fewer broken pieces, more creative possibilities!
SIX Left-Handed Mittens
Consequence: Your best friend, a proud southpaw, embraces the challenge and dons all six gloves at once, becoming the most dexterous gift-exchanger in history. You can’t even be mad because it’s kind of impressive.
Of course, you could consider treating your southpaw friend to a ‘Lefties Rule’ mug, so they can sip their coffee in style and make a political statement all at once. Do that and you’ll be a hero, halfway through what promises to be a memorable 12 Days of Christmas Gifts.
SEVEN 2020 Toilet Paper Rolls
Consequence: Your neighbor, who never quite got over the great TP shortage, is so touched by your thoughtful gift that they can’t help but tear up. They vow to pay it forward by passing out squares of their cherished stash to others in need.
That’s great! OR… Show your neighbor you really care about the 12 Days of Christmas Gifts with a bathroom-themed candle. It’ll keep the memory of 2020 alive without being a roll-down memory lane.
EIGHT Vintage Internet Trial CDs
Consequence: Your tech-savvy coworker creates an art installation in the breakroom, complete with a Vintage Internet-themed shrine. Every lunch break is now accompanied by the soothing sounds of dial-up internet.
Yikes! We’re on home stretch of our 12 Days of Christmas Gifts… Why not give your coworker an ‘I survived the dial-up era’ t-shirt instead, so they can wear their internet trauma quietly, with pride?
NINE Awkward Hug Coupons
Consequence: Your introverted friend, always struggling with social interactions, is flabbergasted but ends up gamely trying to redeem them at the most awkward times, like in the middle of a grocery store or during a solemn church service. They become a local legend, known as the “Random Hugger.”
For your introverted buddy, maybe it’s best to give a ‘No Hugs, Just High Fives’ badge instead. It will keep the personal space invaders at bay. Just 3 out of 12 Days of Christmas Gifts to go!
TEN Jars of Expired Mayo
Consequence: Your grandmother, with her DIY mindset, turns them into an assortment of homemade beauty treatments, such as hair conditioner and skin moisturizer. She gifts you a sample of her creations the following year, leaving you to ponder whether to re-gift or dare to try it.
Instead of hazardous mayo, gift Grandma a beginner’s DIY soap-making kit for the 12 Days of Christmas Gifts. It’s much more appealing for the skin and hair!
ELEVEN Oversized Sombreros
Consequence: Your fun-loving uncle arranges an impromptu family photo session, with everyone donning a sombrero. The picture goes viral on social media, and you all become known as the “Sombrero Family.” Subsequent family gatherings demand increasingly outrageous hats.
Just one more gift to go in the 12 Days of Christmas Gifts. Consider swapping the sombreros for a family matching set of comical t-shirts! They’re still photo-ready but with far less risk of a wind-related mishap.
TWELVE bags of Half-Nibbled Potato Chips
Consequence: Your dad, always looking to teach a valuable lesson, uses them to illustrate the importance of not wasting food. He ends up eating all the bags, taking one for the team, while sharing anecdotes about “the harder times” when a half-nibbled chip would be a luxury.
This is it — the last of the 12 Days of Christmas Gifts! Don’t do your Dad dirty… Ditch the half-eaten snacks and give Dad a ‘King of the Barbecue’ apron. He’ll appreciate the sentiment, even if the barbecue weather is six months away.
How’s that for a comical list of the gifts you wouldn’t want to give and the entertaining consequences that might follow? While these 12 Days of Christmas Gifts may not make it to the top of anyone’s wish list, they’re sure to bring laughter and unforgettable memories to those on the receiving end. Just remember, it’s the thought that counts, and sometimes a truly terrible gift can bring people together in ways that the perfect present never could. Happy gifting, and may your holiday season be filled with laughter and cringe-worthy surprises!
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Want even more fun, quirky and utterly ridiculous gift ideas? I’ve got ’em!
